So there I was sitting in the pub….

When a woman came from behind and tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to find this person smiling and talking to me. I knew the face but couldn’t quite place her at the time.

“You are Mark Rice, the author?”  Yes, I confessed I was.

“Well, I bought your book from Castle Delights cafe in the Summer …..

I held my breath

“…..and I couldn’t put it down.”

I heaved a sigh of relief and returned her smile with interest. As a writer, you are never quite sure which way the feedback goes. Particularly this book. It tells the story from the perspective of a murderer who keeps a diary to record an unforgettable cruise. I knew I was making it hard for myself to expect readers to warm to a character who goes about killing pensioners and behaving badly. Hopefully, my writing illustrates that no one is all bad and anti-social behaviour is not the sole prerogative of the young.

“Yes,” she went on “I was thinking of booking a cruise but having read your book, well, frankly, I’m having second thoughts! I loved it and kept turning the page to see what happened next, will he get away with it and walk off the shop or end up in handcuffs and prison.”

“Are you writing a sequel?” She looked at me with more than a little anticipation.

“I have another book that’s presently a work in progress so all going well you will be able to pick it up in the cafe next summer” I replied. She seemed pleased with the reply and moved away through the packed lounge. My wife squeezed my arm encouragingly. Positive feedback is the nicest thing a writer can get and I’m so grateful to that lady.

“I do hope more people get to read this book,” my wife said before sipping on her piping hot coffee.

So if you have ever wondered what passengers do on long cruises with many days at sea do read this book.

If you enjoy reading about visits to the Carribean islands, Chichen Itza, the USA, the Azores, and parts of South America, read this book.

If you want to be amused, informed and scared (a little) then read this book!

Click here for the US Kindle version

Click here for the UK Kindle version

Click here for the US Paperback version

Click here for the UK Paperback version

Free Book launch in Gorey Co. Wexford this Thursday

Mark Rice Author Visit this Thursday 27th June 2019 at 7.00 pm

Wexford author Mark Rice and other members of the Gorey Writers group will give reading from the novel “Murder On Board” which has just been released by Junction Publishing. Music will be provided by the Kilmuckridge Cool Hand Ukes and Mark will host a Q&A session.

Holidays bring out the best and worst in people. Taking an adult only cruise holiday to the sunny Caribbean in mid-winter seemed a great idea. What could go wrong?

Join Luke and his wife on the cruise of a lifetime which is memorable for all the wrong reasons as passengers die and tensions rise.

The evening event is open to everyone and refreshments will be provided. Contact Mark on 089 2416102 or markrice10@gmail.com

Available Formats - eBook & Paperback and FREE on Kindle Unlimited.

✦Amazon US Amazon.com: Murder On Board: Diary of a Murderer eBook: Mark Rice: Kindle Store

✦Amazon UK Diary of a Murderer eBook: Mark Rice: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

An unexpected wedding speech problem

I was floundering and I knew it. I began to repeat myself but quite honestly it was totally understandable. I felt the room filled with family and friends beginning to close in upon me. For some reason, I focused on the single bead of sweat that started on my forehead and had trickled down and had now reached the tip of my nose. It hung there, gathering critical mass before launching itself into free fall, down onto my shaking hands that clung to my scrumpled notes.

Margaret sat to my right on the top table urgently tugged on my trouser leg and leaning towards me tried to whisper to me a way out of my verbal cul-de-sac. “Mention Nora (my mother) and Dave (my father).”

“Happy,” she said miming her words. I nodded – message received.

I kick-started the speech again “And of course Luke would like me to mention, on this momentous day, our wonderful parents, Dave and Dora…… excuse me, Nora, who would be so happy today” I went on ” as they never thought he’d ever find a woman.”

I smiled broadly. Nailed it.

Ouch! I’d just been kicked in the shin by Margaret.

Her face indicated more was needed so I swiftly continued ” …..as wonderful and good-natured as Sandra.” I think I got away with it. Luke looked encouragingly in my direction. He was, like I, totally unfamiliar with the stilted and rather humourless speech I was delivering but I had no choice.

I’d spent the previous week writing the speech, searching the internet and gathering lovely wholesome family childhood stories. What I reckoned I had enough gathered together was enough to make a humorous, intimate and informative ten-minute speech.

I had that self-same speech in my hands right now but it was useless to me. You see, in the last five minutes, I’d managed to misplace my reading glasses and the speech might as well be back at home for all the good it was to me now.

I glanced down and saw that a water stain had smudged the black ink of my useless speech, a mere blur of black to my poor eyes. The free-falling freedom seeking drop of water had come to a sorry end, much like my speech.

Post Script – I lost the glasses when handing over the bouquet of flowers to Sandra’s mother when she received more than she had bargained for. The glasses that had hung out of my shirt breast pocket attached themselves to the flowers in the handover exercise. C’mon it could happen to anyone, couldn’t it?

My new book Murder On Board is now available – see below:

✦Amazon US  https://www.amazon.com/Murder-Board-Murderer-Mark-Rice-ebook/dp/B07ND52R6V

✦Amazon UK https://www.amazon.co.uk/Murder-Board-Mark-Rice-ebook/dp/B07ND52R6V

Book Launch on 27th June 2019 at 7:00 pm in Gorey Library, The Avenue Gorey

Walk along a Wexford, Irish Beach

This morning, on a cloudy blustery day, I drove to Morrisscastle Beach, Co. Wexford. Through Kilmuckridge village we went and on past Ann Marie’s Castle Delights bakery and cafe where I’d enjoyed a coffee and cake the previous day. The cafe is halfway along the road to the beach and her cakes and buns are delicious. All along the sides of the road are entrances to holiday home parks, not yet busy as the Irish schools have yet to break for summer. We parked up, Buttons, my dog and I and then hopped out of the car, straight into the company of two smaller dogs, returning from their walk.
“Wrap up warm,” said their owners so I fished my rain mac out of the car boot and slipped it on. The wind was negligible in the car park and on the wooden boardwalk to the beach but the moment we stepped out from the shelter of the sand dunes the wind slapped us firmly in the face. I was blown a step backwards and almost lost my footing for a moment. Peering ahead I could see a mile or more of rolling sandy beach which presently was acting as a wind tunnel as it blew a veritable storm of tiny sand granules along its length.

The beach was itself was bordered by grey foaming wild seas on my left and tall vegetated sand dunes to my right. The lifeguard’s metal hut sat perched on top of a dune, locked and deserted.
I braced myself, zipped up the rain mac to its fullest and let Buttons loose on an almost deserted beach.  You know, with a bit of sunshine and another 10 degrees you could be in Tenerife. But I knew that was just a bit of wishful thinking.

We stepped out onto the firm white sand and walked into the teeth of the gale, knowing full well it would be at our backs on the return trip. Buttons, now released, scampered along the sand and stopped only to sniff anything he could find, the detached leg of a large crab, a pink lump of seaweed, a broken branch and stones, so many stones.

On we walked for about a kilometre, my face growing cold with the chilling breeze and sore from the sand stinging my eyes. Slowly the figures in the distance drew nearer and nearer until I had to summon Buttons and put back on his leash.

There before us was a young Irish mammy and her two toddlers digging holes in the sand and building sandcastles, all in splendid isolation. Armed only with rain macs, wellingtons, one bucket and two spades the threesome squirrelled out a good time from the damp sand in trying conditions. The mother smiled back at me and there they stood, alone, determined to have a day out regardless of the weather.

It made me smile and recall my own dear Mum who likewise burdened with young children, for three months every summer, braved miserable weather to get us all out onto the beach for a good time, whether we wanted to or not! The alternative, she knew, was sitting in the caravan and refereeing four boys knocking lumps out of each other. I know which option I would have chosen if I were her.

The family were gone by the time we turned back. The sand storm was now replaced by driving rain and with dark clouds gathering even the dog needed no second prompting to make a run back to the car. But that’s all part of the charm of Ireland. This time last year we had a heat wave. Life is never dull or predictable on this tiny island.

What can go wrong on a cruise holiday?

Listen, mate,” he said: “The only problem I have with cruises are the other passengers.” He went on, waving his finger at me.

“Oh yes, son,  unlike other holiday types, you can’t choose your company. Like it or not mate, you will be spending the whole holiday with the same group of people around you, day and night. It's a right royal pain in the arse.”

Then he thought of something and smiled at me. My spirits lifted, for a moment.

He burst into song. and it was Hotel Californi

a and he sang it through to the line “You can check out but you can never leave." 

"Yes, mate, that’s you stuck for the next fortnight in a floating tin can bouncing about the ocean seas. I mean, think about - you are rightly screwed."

"Don't forget the tablets and make sure your cabins got a comfy toilet. You'll be going from both ends at times, oh yes.” he chuckled to himself with the thought.

He seemed to be getting great satisfaction from anticipating my demise.
“Oh yes, mate rather you than me” were his last words as he walked away.

Now, what am I going to do? I thought to myself. He's right but she is going to go ballistic if I back out now.

Holidays bring out the best and worst in people. Taking an adult only cruise holiday to the sunny Caribbean in mid-winter seemed a great idea.  What could go wrong?

Join Luke and his wife on the cruise of a lifetime which is memorable for all the wrong reasons as passengers die and tensions rise.

Available Formats - eBook & Paperback and FREE on Kindle Unlimited.

✦Amazon US  https://www.amazon.com/Murder-Board-Murderer-Mark-Rice-ebook/dp/B07ND52R6V

✦Amazon UK https://www.amazon.co.uk/Murder-Board-Mark-Rice-ebook/dp/B07ND52R6V

"Murder On Board" new fiction for June 19 - a 5 star read

So I opened up Goodreads.com this morning never suspecting that I'd actually received my first reader's review and low and behold there it was. 

"Murder On Board" has been given a 5-star review and comments to boot! 

Truthfully, nothing matters more to me than the reading experience for my readers so I've had a wonderful start to the day. Thank you.

Want to buy in US Dollars Kindle $2.53 or Paperback $9.99

Want to buy in UK / EU  Kindle £1.99 or Paperback £8.99

Easter Eggs

The Easter break is a dangerous time for people trying to lose weight as loved ones bombard folks who need to lose weight with chocolate. I was fortunate this year. My wife totally forgot about the gifting side of Easter and I didn’t get an egg. However, I didn’t forget and bought a large chocolate egg filled with rich chocolate sweets for her. Better safe than sorry was my thinking. I also bought our visiting son a small egg and by doing so I thought I’d covered all the angles ensuring happiness all around.

On Easter Sunday my wife became guilt-ridden at the sight of my gift and insisted I share her egg. I duly did and probably would have escaped the piling on of pounds if I had stopped there.  However, our son, on sight of my egg gift to him, glared at the egg, strode across the kitchen and deposited it in the rubbish bin. All he had to say was “no thanks”  but I got the message. 

Well,l I come from a long line of people who do not allow chocolate to be wasted and I retrieved the wrapped egg from the bin and made it my own. And so I sit here in my office having just finished a fresh salad meal that I could have happily shared with a rabbit and my mind replaying a weekend of chocolate overindulgence. 

I’ll try again next year. With my son safely abroad and my wife reliably forgetful, I should have a chocolate free Easter.