“John, I got him on hold, it’s that guy again.”
Frank allowed an element of dissatisfaction slip into his voice. I could hear clearly he was pissed off. Unfortunately for him, I wasn’t on hold and I heard every word he uttered for the next 3 minutes.
“OK, OK Frank, just give me a minute and I’ll be with you. I have my own customers to manage. Get the paperwork together and I’ll be with you in a minute.”
Frank returned to me.
“Hello Mr Rodgers, can I keep you on hold for another minute as my colleague is coming free and will help me with your case.” Very professional Frank I thought to myself.
“Sure Frank I’ll hold”
Again Frank failed to master the “hold” button and I awaited developments.
Eventually, John was free to help Frank and Frank laid it on him.
“Mr Rodgers signed up for broadband 13 days ago and today he’s on my case from the get-go. I mean at 9.00 am on the fucking dot he rang my mobile. Of course, I didn’t pick it up. By 9.30am he’s on again and I still didn’t pick it up. Now he’s rung the shop and is on hold“
“You knew it was him?”
“Not the first time but I checked the number and saw it was him.”
“What’s the problem, Frank? You made a broadband service sale – congratulations buddy!”
“No John I fucked up and now he’s making me pay for it. I forgot to register the order for 5 days and then after that, I didn’t get the engineer to install the line for another 5 days. When the engineer installed the line I forgot to order the modem which will take 4 days from today to be delivered. Then it will take 7 days from today to switch the broadband on. ”
“Sounds like business as normal to me Frank”
“Whose side are you on asshole?”
“Put your dolls back in the pram mister, I’m just messing with you. So what’s the problem?”
“The problem is he has a 14 day trial period that started when he placed the order and will run out today. “
“So”
“So if he finds that out and cancels today I lose the commission worth €150.”
“There is no way he can go live today as he hasn’t the modem. Just promise him it’ll be delivered tomorrow along with the live broadband. By then it’ll be too late to cancel and your commission is in the bag. Go on tell him, tell him now.”
Frank thought for a nanosecond and then clicked the hold button.
“Mr Rodgers?”
I interrupted him.
“Yes, Frank” and before he could continue…
“Tell me about the modem delivery tomorrow and the broadband going live tomorrow and then about the goblins that live in the bottom of my garden.”
“THE ORDER IS CANCELLED and if you don’t want another day like today please learn to use the God damn phone Hold button”.
“Mr Rodgers, Mr Rodgers……. are you still there Mr Rodgers?
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